The Season I Finally Started Feeling Like Myself Again

Because motherhood doesn’t erase you, sometimes it just takes you the long way back to yourself.

There are seasons in motherhood where things feel steady. Where you move through the day with some version of rhythm, not perfect, but familiar. Where you think, Okay, I can do this. I know who I am in all of this.

And then there are seasons that shake you.

The ones that arrive slowly, quietly, almost invisibly… until suddenly you look around and realize:

I don’t feel like myself. Not fully. Not lately. Not in the way I used to.

This past year was one of those seasons for me. Not because of one dramatic event, but because of the accumulation; the mental load, the shifting routines, the emotional labor, the trying-to-hold-it-all-together energy that mothers know too well.

It was a year of stretching. A year of questioning. A year of feeling unmoored. A year where I lost pieces of myself in the swirl of everything and everyone else who needed me. And I didn’t even fully see it happening… until I did.

The surprising thing that pulled me back: my kids.

Not with some big breakthrough moment. Not with a deep conversation or a perfect day. But simply by being exactly who they are. Their curiosity. Their fierceness. Their chaos and their magic. Their unapologetic way of moving through the world as if they belong here, fully and without hesitation.

Watching them these last few months sparked something in me. A remembering and reawakening.
A soft nudge that whispered:

You get to be you, too. Not just in the cracks and leftover spaces, in the real spaces. In your actual life.

Their exploring reminded me that I get to explore, their joy reminded me I can feel joy and their imagination reminded me that magic is allowed to come back to adults too. Slowly, something inside me shifted.

For a long time, I thought I had to “get back” to who I was before kids. I even posted that I missed me, and I do at times, but I have learned even more these last few months that I am bringing her with me. I’m gathering pieces of myself, the woman I was before, the woman I am now, the woman I’m still growing into and letting them coexist instead of compete.

I am embracing all of the parts of the person I am; The creative and grounded parts. The exhausted and dreaming parts. The soft and the fierce. And the parts that need rest and the ones that crave purpose. All of them matter.

And in this season? They’re finally settling into place in a way that feels like a homecoming.

This is the season I started feeling like myself again.

It wasn’t because things got easier or the chaos disappeared, it didn’t. Motherhood didn’t get quieter; it got louder. But somewhere in the middle of all that noise, I made a decision:

I started choosing me.

I began feeling like myself again because I stopped waiting to “arrive” at some perfect version of myself. I let myself exist in the middle, in the mess, in the becoming.

I stopped people-pleasing, stopped carrying everyone’s expectations, stopped shrinking to stay small and digestible.

And instead, I chose alignment. I chose my passions. I chose my voice. I chose what actually matters, even if it was only for small pockets of time.

And just to be clear: none of this is easy.

We don’t get long stretches of quiet to work on ourselves…we are moms, people need us. Life is loud, chaotic and time is limited. I will be honest, I don’t have flawless routines or endless free time. I question myself constantly, my choices, my direction, my worth.

Here’s what I’ve learned: I don’t need hours. I just need moments; tiny pockets where I remember who I am, little sparks that remind me I matter too.

Choosing myself hasn’t been one big shift. It’s been a thousand small choices in imperfect, unexpected places.

And that’s where the magic happened. Not in the big gestures; in the tiny, consistent ones.

✨ Tips If You’re in a Season of Not Feeling Like Yourself

Because if you're here too, you’re not alone.

1. Name the season you’re in.

There’s power in saying,
“This is hard,” or “I feel lost,” or “I don’t feel like me right now.”
Naming it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you aware.

2. Let your kids remind you of things you’ve forgotten.

Their wonder is a mirror. Their imagination, their boldness, their play, all of it can wake up parts of you that went dormant.

3. Stop saving the ‘real you’ for later.

Don’t wait for the perfect season, the perfect schedule, the perfect moment. You get to exist now. Start small, start messy, start anyway.

4. Release one thing that’s weighing you down.

One expectation. One obligation. One boundary you’ve needed but avoided. One person’s opinion you’re done carrying.

5. Follow the tiny sparks.

What feels interesting? What feels energizing? What feels like a “maybe I could…”? Those sparks are clues. Follow them.

6. Give yourself permission to evolve.

You’re not supposed to stay the same. Motherhood changes you, yes, but some of those changes are growth, not loss.

7. Remember: coming back to yourself is not a straight line.

You’ll waver. You’ll slip. You’ll feel found one day and lost again the next. That’s normal, that’s human and that is motherhood. You just need to keep choosing your way back, a little at a time.

If this is your season too…

If you’re unraveling and rebuilding at the same time… If you’re losing pieces and finding them again in unexpected places…

If your kids unknowingly give you the courage to keep becoming… If you’re learning to trust your voice and let go of the noise…

You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing the brave work of becoming.

And I’m right here with you.

Cheering you on through the chaos,

Katelyn, Messy but Managed