We Do Not All Have the Same 24 Hours
Productivity, Parenthood & Capacity
I once saw a post that said something like:
“Unless your day also starts with a toddler standing on the counter holding a fistful of berries… we do not have the same 24 hours.”
And honestly, I’ve never felt more seen. Some people wake up, work out, go to work, meal prep, and watch a show without being interrupted 47 times. Some of us wake up to a tiny human on the counter eating berries like a raccoon and immediately begin managing safety, emotions, logistics, and coffee at the same time.
Both are valid lives, they’re just not operating with the same capacity.
What Productivity Culture Actually Is (And Why It Works… Until It Doesn’t)
Productivity culture is the belief that our worth is tied to output. It tells us time should be used efficiently, effort should be visible, and discomfort can usually be solved with better systems, more discipline, or pushing a little harder.
It sounds like:
Wake up earlier
Push through
Optimize your routine
Use your time better
And here’s the thing; I’m not anti-productivity. I’m a high achiever. I like structure. I thrive when I’m busy, ambitious, and moving toward something. Routines and systems genuinely help me function. This isn’t an argument against organization. It’s an argument against using the same rules in every season of life.
Where Productivity Culture Starts to Miss the Context
A lot of productivity advice assumes you’re mostly managing yourself.
Not yourself plus:
tiny humans
emotional regulation (theirs and yours)
household logistics
constant interruptions
invisible mental load
the desire to still feel like a person at the end of the day
Parenthood doesn’t just add tasks. It adds layers of responsibility that fracture attention and drain capacity, even on days that are objectively “fine.” What works beautifully in one household can completely fall apart in another, not because someone is doing it wrong, but because parenting isn’t one-size-fits-all.
The Myth of “We All Have the Same 24 Hours”
This is where the conversation usually goes sideways, so let me be clear. I’m not saying parenthood is harder than every other life. What I am saying is that productivity culture treats time like a neutral resource.
It assumes:
uninterrupted focus
stable energy
consistent sleep
evenly distributed effort
Parenthood laughs directly in the face of all of that. You can’t batch tasks when someone needs you right now. You can’t “deep work” with a running commentary in the background. You can’t always push through exhaustion when someone depends on your emotional availability.
Same hours, very different conditions.
I’m writing this blog on broken sleep because my kids were up three times last night. I’m also being interrupted every few minutes by my daughter asking me to try the “pickle cookie” she made out of Play-Doh, while narrating her entire cooking process in real time.
My focus is being pulled in multiple directions. Am I working? Yes. Am I pushing through and doing the thing? Also yes. Am I as productive as I would be on a full night’s sleep in a quiet room with no interruptions? Absolutely not.
And that’s not a failure, that’s context and productivity culture rarely makes room for it.
Where Productivity Culture and Parenthood Collide
Here’s the tension I keep noticing in my own life: Productivity culture values output. Parenthood often requires presence.
Productivity culture says: do more, try harder, push through.
Parenthood says: pause, regulate, attune.
Neither is wrong but they don’t always coexist easily and when I try to apply productivity rules without adjusting for capacity, I’m usually the thing that breaks.
This is why parenthood isn’t actually a productivity problem. It’s a capacity problem. Capacity includes: sleep, emotional bandwidth, sensory load and the mental load.
Two people can have the same number of hours and radically different capacity to use them and capacity isn’t something you fix with a better planner. It fluctuates; daily, hourly and sometimes minute by minute.
Recognizing that isn’t making excuses, it’s working with reality.
Rest Is Where This Hits the Hardest
This is the part that productivity culture really struggles with in parenthood. Because productivity culture is loud and in parenthood, we do push through. How often do parents actually get a true sick day? Most of the time, you still show up. You still manage. You still meet needs. That’s the context and it matters but there is also a cost.
Many parents feel guilt when they take time for themselves because there is always something or someone waiting.
Productivity culture tells us it will all be fine if we’re just more organized… if we just keep going. Listen, I’m not saying give up and bed rot for days on end. I am saying those ten minutes or those two hours where you choose yourself matter. They matter because you show up as a better version of you when you give yourself permission to rest.
Rest isn’t a reward, it’s maintenance. Especially when your day involves managing other humans.
This is where I’ve had to shift the narrative for myself. Some days productivity in parenthood looks like keeping everyone safe, meeting essential needs, choosing connection over completion, or stopping before resentment builds. Some days capacity is high. Some days it’s berries-on-the-counter energy.
Both are still real days. Both still count.
I Wouldn’t Trade It, I’m Just Adjusting the Rules
I wouldn’t trade parenthood for the world. I’m also not pretending it operates on the same rules as a life without constant interruption, responsibility, and emotional labor. Productivity culture has value, until it doesn’t. And when it stops serving the season you’re in, you’re allowed to adjust instead of forcing yourself to fit.
Messy but managed doesn’t mean doing less because you can’t handle more. It means doing what fits the reality of your life and letting that be enough.
Even when the day starts with berries on the counter, especially then.
Cheering you on through the chaos,
-Kate, Messy but Managed
P.S. I do actually love a good planner; if you want my favorite, send me a note!